Originally drafted December 5, 2025, revised on January 15 & February 12, 2026. 

This is part one of a three part series about the life choices I made many years before I got married (about money, keeping my family name, and not having children) that made my unexpected divorce easier to handle. Since I am talking about a lot of personal stuff in this series, these posts will be semi-paywalled. Hugs and kisses to the fifteen folks who have already upgraded their subscriptions.

One of the very first things I did after my husband told me he wanted a divorce is that I began lawyering up within a few days of him dropping the bomb. I was so blindsided by his announcement and refusal to consider marriage counseling that I felt like I had no other option except to immediately protect myself and my future, especially given that he makes a much higher income. I have a couple of lawyers in my social circles, and began asking them for divorce attorney recommendations. And then I began working through the list and making my calls to find someone who could go to bat for me. 

One of the greatest misconceptions a lot of people have about getting a divorce is that a lawyer will give you a free consultation before you commit to having them represent you. Maybe this used to happen decades ago or still happens in some parts of the country, but it definitely was not happening in Cincinnati in 2025. I contacted about half a dozen legal firms, and ended up doing three in-person consultations for which I had to pay the attorney’s hourly fee, which cost anywhere from $250 to $350. And one of the major reasons I had no hesitation about doing exactly this is that I have always, always, always had my own savings that no man could ever touch.