Outsourcing validation as a substitute for attraction
Started summer 2026Revised September 18 & 29 and October 7, 2026. A common theme for women coming out later in life is that their queer awakening is often...
What It’s Like to Date Women After Only Dating Men
Drafted spring 2026.Revised September 23, 2026. I’ve been dating women, for the first time in my life, for about six months. Although I have definitely tried...
Please stop calling me a baby gay
Originally drafted on October 30, 2025 and November 5, 2025.Revised on September 1, 2026 and September 17, 2026. Something I wish more people had warned me...
20 Reasons I Didn't Vibe With Various Online Dating Profiles
Originally drafted June 30-July 1, 2026.Revised September 8, 2026. I’ve been on the dating apps for almost 6 months and have learned a lot in that time....
Compulsory heterosexuality is a hell of a drug
Originally drafted on October 10-12, 2025 and June 3, 2026.Revised on August 25, 2026-September 4, 2026. Throughout my divorce, I erred on the side of being...
Goodbye to Dolly, Capricorn Queen
Drafted and revised August 26, 2026. Support the most exciting email in your inbox I was at the laundromat yesterday working on future newsletters when I saw...
One Way to Make Hard Decisions
Drafted on August 18, 2026. Revised on August 20, 2026. Are you an over-thinker? Do you intellectualize all your decisions? Are you convinced that with the...
Beyond Decentering Men
Originally drafted on October 24, 2025 and November 5, 2025Revised July 24-30, August 3-6, 2026. Since coming out on Al Gore’s internet, I’m often writing...
How Being a Quaker Prepared Me to be Queer, Part 3
Drafted spring of 2026.Revised June 3-July 24, 2026. I’m back from my two week road trip! You can see a few pictures here. Read Part 1 here. Read Part 2...
Out of the office and on the road!
A Vast, Unregulated Medium is currently out of the office and on the road! I brought my laptop with good intentions to keep up the newsletter on the road...
How Being a Quaker Prepared Me to be Queer, Part 2
Drafted spring of 2026.Revised June 3/24-25, and July 2, 2026. Read Part 1 here. This got so long that there will be a Part 3. Thanks for sticking with me! A...
How Being a Quaker Prepared Me to be Queer, Part 1
Drafted spring of 2026.Revised June 3 and 24-25, 2026. For many queer people, religion is a source of trauma that is often a barrier to embracing their...
Feeling Like You’ve Had a Mild Brain Transplant
Originally drafted on October 17 and October 30, 2025. Note: Even though I have evolved into more self-confidence in my queer identity in the months since...
The Illusion of Security
Originally drafted October and November, 2025.Revised June 10-12, 2026 Since coming out on Al Gore’s internet, I am talking about a lot of really personal...
Put Me In, Coach
Originally drafted on October 10-12, 2025, May 11 & 30, 2026, and June 3, 2026.Revised June 4, 2026. The signs were there. Right after my husband left me,...
Why I Stay A Quaker
Drafted May 1, May 6-8, and May 25, 2026.Revised May 28, 2026. Part 1 of How I Became a Quaker can be read here.Part 2 of How I Became a Quaker can be read...
How I Became A Quaker, Part 2
Drafted May 1, 2026.Revised May 6-8, and May 20-22, 2026. Part 1 of How I Became a Quaker can be read here. The process in my yearly meeting for officially...
How I Became A Quaker, Part 1
Drafted May 1, 2026.Revised May 6-8, 2026. Quick note from the author: The mental model I’ve had for this newsletter, at least initially, is to write long-...
The geography of divorce
Drafted April 30, 2026. Revised May 1, 2026. My undergraduate degree was in geography, and I’m a lifelong map lover. So naturally, one day I got bored on the...
How an unexpected divorce caused me to chill out about the end of the world
Drafted April 22-23, 2026.Revised April 24, 2026. This is a free post, but many of my posts are paywalled. If you’d like to go ahead and buy a subscription...